


Just Hurry Up

by samoosifer



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Blood Kink, Brotzly - Freeform, Danger Kink, M/M, Please Forgive me, Semi-Public Sex, Tie Kink, and dirks, and his, at seaworld, bc of todds, its great, these boys are bad tbh, they're both soaked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9515885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samoosifer/pseuds/samoosifer
Summary: todd and dirk have a case at seaworld. they anger a security guard and some kinks come out in the bathroom.





	

**Author's Note:**

> please keep in mind that this is the first load of smut i have written in /yearssssssss/ like its been ages so forgive me if its shit.

“If you ever come back here, I will fucking kill you. You hear me?!” 

“Todd, come on. Can we please just-”

“Fuck you, man! We're gonna find out what happened to Missy the Whale whether you like it or not!” Todd shouted back, pulling the finger at the man's retreating back. “Fat fucking prick!” 

“Todd… Really?” Dirk sighed as the man turned around and started returning to them, an ugly scowl darkening his features. “Can we please go?” 

“No way.” Todd shook his head, standing his ground. 

“What the fuck did you say to me?” He spat, drawing right up to Todd to further belittle him. 

“I said your a fat fucking prick.” Todd glared up at him, daring him to do it. Which he did. Todd was expecting it but he didn't see the man's fist coming. Todd lost his balance immediately and fell into the water next to him. The coldness immediately numbed the pain as he broke the surface, gasping for air. He struggled to get out of the water as the sound of Dirk shouting reached his ears followed by a splash. Todd turned around to see Dirk float to the surface, blood dripping from his lip. He looked back at the man who was standing at the waters edge, grinning down at them. 

“Okay. You win. We'll leave. We'll drop the case.” Dirk spluttered, swimming to a ladder that Todd had somehow missed. 

“Good.” The man snarled. He watched as they clambered out of the water, panting heavily.

“Are we really dropping the case? What about-”

“No, of course not.” Dirk whispered. “I said it to get him off our backs.” 

“Right… Okay. Sorry to have wasted your time, sir.” Todd snorted. “We'll be back with reinforcement tomorrow!”

“Todd!” 

“Run, Dirk!” Todd laughed. 

They took off, sprinting out of the staff only area and back into the crowded paths of Seaworld, Dirk grabbing Todd's hand eventually to pull him through the crowd, yelling 'excuse me please' and 'sorry' over and over again until he burst into the men's toilets which were blissfully empty and cool. 

“Jesus.” Todd breathed, closing the entrance to the bathroom and leaning against the door. Dirk was leaning on the sink, head down as he half laughed and half panted. 

“What is the matter with you?” Dirk huffed, looking sideways at him with a grin on his face. 

“You- You're the one who decided taking on Seaworld was a good idea.” Todd laughed.

“True.” Dirk conceded, shaking water out of his eyes.

Todd's eyes zeroed in on the cut that was still bleeding slowly. Pieces of his hair were plastered to his face while the rest was sticking up at odd angles, his clothes dripping wet. It was a good look on him. “I'm sorry I got you hit.” He mumbled. 

“Not a problem.” Dirk smiled, running his hands through his hair to create an even more attractive look. 

Todd couldn't control himself. He walked over to Dirk, grabbed him by his sopping wet tie and pulled him in for a rough kiss, wasting no time in walking him backwards into a stall, kicking the door shut behind him. He was barely aware of Dirk somehow locking the door. All he could hear was the buzz in his head of _now now now_ and all he could feel was the adrenaline pumping through his veins and straight to his dick. 

Dirk's fingers were in Todd's hair, gripping and pulling and dragging down to his neck and sending shivers up and down his spine. Todd moved his hands down to Dirk's pants, fumbling with the button and zip until he finally got it open and he dropped to his knees, yanking them down roughly. 

Dirk looked down at him, his eyes wide as Todd smiled up at him, taking his hard cock in his hands before putting his mouth on it, closing his eyes as he slowly took all of Dirk in. His eyes were watering and he couldn't breathe properly but he didn't care. All he cared about was the soft little gasps that were coming out of Dirk's mouth, his eyes falling shut as he let his head fall backwards. 

He looked back down as Todd looked up and a drop of blood fell off Dirk's chin, landing on Todd's nose. It should have been gross. There was something probably unhygienic about it but it just amped up all of Todd's feelings and hormones. He let go of Dirk and stood up, the two men breathing heavily as Dirk took control. He grabbed Todd and turned him around, pulling his jeans down as he did. 

“Fuck.” Dirk muttered, reaching down to grab a condom from his wallet before standing back up. “Do you have the lube?” 

“Yeah it's- it's in my pocket just hurry up.” Todd whined. After the first time they had gotten themselves into a situation like this, they had always just made sure to carry it around with them. An unspoken acknowledgement that they were both kinky as fuck and that the mood could strike at any moment. And striking it was. As soon as they were both ready, Dirk pushed into Todd and they both moaned out in ecstasy, sounding like that hadn't had it for years when in reality they had fucked early that morning before waking up for the day. 

The slow drag of Dirk sliding out before slamming back in, muttering under his breath about Todd's pretty little asshole, was pulling every cuss word under the sun out of Todd's mouth. He was leaning against the cubicle door, his face getting pushed into the cold cheap plastic. There was barely enough space for the two of them and in the back of his head, Todd was cursing himself for not going into the disabled cubicle. 

Dirk was picking up speed, grunting and moaning and gripping Todd's hips hard, nails digging in. He removed one hand to thread it through Todd's hair. Just the other day Dirk had commented that it was starting to get long and Todd should probably get it cut but now, Todd was glad he hadn't listened to him. Dirk gripped his hair and pulled, Todd's head falling backwards as he let out a loud groan, the bathroom door opening with a loud creak. 

Dirk froze. Todd froze. The man walked in and stopped at a urinal. Todd was suddenly extremely uncomfortable with the thought of listening to this guy piss while they waited. But Dirk had no intention of doing that. He slowly thrust his hips forwards, his hand moving to cover Todd's mouth, just managing to stifle the groan. Todd twisted around slightly to look at Dirk only to see him grinning naughtily, biting his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. 

The man outside flushed the urinal as his phone started ringing and instead of taking it outside like a normal person, he decided to answer it in there, talking loudly about meeting someone on the other side of the park. Todd looked back at Dirk, desperate for an indicator of what they were going to do. 

In answer, Dirk pulled himself out completely before entering Todd so suddenly and so forcefully that Todd couldn't help but shout out. The man stopped talking and it was so obvious he knew. They had basically been caught and Todd was so fucking hard that he didn't care. He reached behind himself with one hand and started pulling Dirk into him over and over again, the sounds becoming obscene and very incriminating. 

The man left the bathroom and they both knew their time was almost up. But Dirk was intent on finishing. He started fucking Todd harder and faster, gasping. “T- Todd, I'm close. I'm so close.” 

Todd reached down and put his hand on his dick, shouting out at the sudden contact. Within two minutes they were both yelling, one after the other, as Dirk stuttered to a stop, riding out his orgasm. They both stood there, panting and laughing slightly. Todd somehow turned around and put his hands on Dirk's neck, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. 

“That guys gonna be back with security any minute. I bet it'll be our friend as well.” Todd snorted. 

“You wanna get out of here?” Dirk breathed, dropping kisses up and down Todd's neck. 

“Fuck yes.”


End file.
